Brooke Ashley Cameron 7/14/08~7/24/08




"The Butterfly counts not months, but moments, and has time enough."




Brooke Ashley Cameron was born 7~14~2008 with her identical twin sister, Summer, at only 27 weeks. She weighed 2 lbs 15 oz and was 15 inches long. She was the former recipient of Twin to Twin Transfusion syndrome. As a result of TTTS (twin to twin transfusion) and prematuriy, she had acute Pulmonary Stenosis, a grade 4 brain bleed, and an extremely rare lung condition similar to Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia. She passed away, at only 10 days old, peacefully in her Mom's arms, surrounded by a family who loves her.

Brooke's memory book...click on full screen to see a larger copy.


Friday, July 24, 2009

A year ago today...

This beautiful memorial, made with the flowers from Brooke's service, sits on the speaker in my family room. It was a gift from many of my good friends.
The inscription reads "Brooke Ashley Cameron~ We will miss your shining spirit"
The basket of flowers from my mother-in-law and bunch of flowers from my mom and dad
at Mt. View funeral home in Tacoma, where Brooke is buried
A view of the grounds at Mountain View...we have had very dry, hot weather lately, so the usually lush, green grass is a little drier these days...still a beautiful place.


I can't believe how fast time has gone by. Today marked the one year anniversary of Brooke's passing. I thought I was doing okay, and maybe I was, but in the middle of all the chaos my house is in a constant state of, something changed.

We had decided that we would go visit Mountain View Cemetery today as a family then spend some time together. As usual, our house was in an uproar...kids fighting (didn't help that we just got back from a 5 day trip with more fun than you can shake a stick at!), kids screaming, music playing. In the middle of it all, I sat down just as the song on my husbands 1,000 plus playlist changed. I knew right away what we were about to hear..."All love can be" sung by Charlotte Church (from the soundtrack "A Beautiful Mind"). This happens to be the song my husband used when he made a video of some of our favorite Brooke photos. Of course, I can't even last through the intro without my eyes welling up with tears...today was no exception. We sat quietly sobbing through the song as my 3 older kids were clueless, running around, still yelling. After the song was done playing, Tom looked at me and said "appropriate don't you think?" What are the chances that particular song would just happen to play at that particular moment? Of course, the tone of my day instantly switched...music can definitely bring back feelings and memories quite vividly.

On a side note, I have finally figured out how to add music to my blogs...this version of "Somewhere over the Rainbow" is one that is also a real tear jerker. While I was pregnant, I followed a few stories told by other families that had gone through TTTS. Many of them made memorial videos for their Angel baby and survivor...almost every single video was put to this music. Of course, not knowing what outcome we were to face, and still waiting for my babies to progress, I was very emotional. Every time I hear this song, it reminds me of everything we (and the other families) experienced throughout the entire process. In fact, during the first days Summer was home with us, I was at Fred Meyer and the song came on. Needless to say, I had to try and crawl under the clothes racks to keep from completely losing it. After the song was over and I had composed myself, I wandered to another part of the store. I just happened to run into Summer's home care nurse. We chuckled about me trying to hide in the racks...this is something we always tell our kids NOT to do :)....nice that people are put out there for us to run into at the right times! I felt it was only fitting that I include the song on Brooke's blog....

I finished brushing hair, changing kids, etc. and headed for the shower. Like a lot of people I know, the shower is about the only place I have during the day that is quiet for a few minutes...and with quiet comes thinking. As the song played over and over in my head, I remembered the short, but sweet moments we spent with our tiny daughter. I remember the first time I saw her at 3 days old...how fragile she was, but we still had hope. I remember seeing the pain and anguish on my husband's face as I got off the elevator to meet him...then the docs told us there was nothing more they could do. I remember how it felt the first time I held her...how good it felt. I remember the way she cuddled right up to my chest and her body was calmed. I remember the long walk we took together as a family downstairs at Children's to the chapel to say goodbye. I remember holding her as she took her last breath, then smiled that sleepy newborn smile at me and was gone. I remember the even longer walk back to her room to say our final goodbyes.

I got out of the shower, dried my eyes, and headed for the family room. The kids were putting on their shoes and my husband called us all in to sit. We watched the 2 photo videos and all cried. Morgan was sitting on my lap and started crying too...because Andrew and Tom were. Anytime she sees pictures of Brooke, she thinks it is Summer. I explained to her that Brooke was also her little sister. As she saw the pictures of me holding Brooke, Morgan commented on how Brooke needed "my mom" too. Morgan is still very in tune with the spirit...she knew I was pregnant with the twins before I did :) Summer was sitting on little Tom's lap making all kinds of baby noises...it made us all giggle a little :)

After the videos were over, we headed for the van. Traffic was horrible and the trip that normally takes us 45 minutes, took us twice that long. With all the things we have had going on this past year, we still haven't ordered a gravestone for Brooke. My mother-in-law (who live just minutes away) has been keeping watch over her. Each new season she has brought over a potted plant to keep her company....she enjoys taking walks there...it is so beautiful. I am so glad she has taken care of this for us.

We left some flowers there for her, then headed for Point Defiance Zoo. It was a really nice way to spend the rest of the afternoon...enjoying each other's company. After the zoo, we went out to dinner...life was back to normal...Morgan ran amok in the restaurant and I changed diapers a few more times.
I miss my little Brooke and am so grateful we still have Summer...she is such a comfort to us. After the older kids were all tucked in, I layed on the floor, talked, and played with Summer. As usual, she grinned from ear to ear and giggled with glee. I am so thankful Heavenly Father has blessed our family with such special little spirits...it will be a wonderful reunion when we can all be together again.

2 comments:

  1. Ah Mel and Tom,
    You have been on my mind so much as this first anniversary approached. I know you miss your wee daughter, and even being grateful that she passed life's test, fulfilled her mortal mission and has gone Home doesn't take away the emptiness for those who remain here. My heart aches for all of you.
    Tears in the shower is a common experience for me as well. Your blog entry is beautifully written. You will continue to be in my prayers.

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  2. Your posts here sure know how to bring the tears.. I must tell you that even though we were out of town I thought of you most of the day on the 24th. {hugs}

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